All hail The Kaiser and his magical endoscopy wand!
Dr Kaiser told me the unexpected and unfuckingbelievably fantastic news that I will not need chemo or radiation because he got all the dodgy shit out in the operation. I know, right?!! I feel like I've won the lottery. Regular scans and blood tests for the next year is all I need. Oh, and annual colonoscopies of course. If I haven't had a relapse by this time next year, the Kaiser can pronounce the all clear.
Now get me a Stoli...
Laparoscopic wounds seem to be healing really well (despite it looking like I've been run over by a combine harvester).
You go to pick up your meds at Walgreens and at that crucial moment you're unable to remember: (a) your phone number and, (b) your debit card PIN. #epicmemoryfail #truestory
Looks grim but it was actually quite nice.
I hope whoever shaved my muff was not in charge of anything else to do with my surgery.
But I think it well.